As mentioned in the subject line I've submitted Light Online Three: Leader to Amazon. Now it's in review on their end. Once they get it to publishing status I'll edit this post to add a link to the US version here as well as the ASIN to search for on other sites.
Live on US site: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B086GVJXKR
For those that don't use the US site, you can search for it by asin on your local amazon site to see if it is live on yours.
ASIN: B086GVJXKR
Thanks,
Tom
I'm done, you don't take torturing raping goblins and make them sympathetic. Even the thought of them being considered anything other than deserving of a slow death by fire makes me lose all faith I had that I can trust you. I should of known as much that you even put that bit with allie in there in the first place.
ReplyDeleteWell that's just a bigoted and totally unproductive review. If you think that a whole species needs to be pigeonholed because of the impact of a select group on one person youre a racist and speciesist.
DeleteUnless of course you believe that ALL OF HUMANITY should be and is deserving of a slow death by fire as the origins of all of us are subject to such a thing? You need look no further than EVERY nations and peoples history for examples of the same. If you think I'm wrong, go look. Reviews, whether positive or negative, are intended to be productive for the author. If you take issue with them taking the liberty to include some diversity in their writing, including the understanding that not everyone is the same and your race or species doesn't mandate who and what you are, then kindly shut up and read and review somewhere else.
i have enjoyed these books. the quality of work done in character creation shows.
ReplyDeleteAnother great book in the series. Left a review on Amazon but the thing I enjoy most is how much the development of Meadowlands plays a role. To many other series only focus on the development of the MC.
ReplyDeleteJust finished book 3, another fantastic book. Please make this longer than a five book series. Looking forward to book 4.
ReplyDeleteJust a couple comments.
ReplyDelete1: Loving the series, I'm actually enjoying a lot of the way your intertwining the building with the adventure.
2: Not sure if it's on purpose but there have been a few spots in the light online series where you mention something in passing then never cover it. The one that sticks in my mind the most is in book 3 after clearing the orc city the main character mentions that his team and Charles team are sorting the loot from the city but he never explains what any of it was.
3: After the main Character got his ability to merge spells and skills, I waited and waited for you to do a spigot on top of the Inn with create water and carpentry, so that it would auto fill the showers.... But after finishing book 3 figured you hadn't thought up that idea yet.
4: And the last thing is please don't do what so many other authors think is a great idea. (Someone trying to steal the Main characters girl, or kidnapping her, or using a charm spell on her....) I can't even tell you how many series I've dropped just because of that one thing I can't stand NTR BS.
I'm reading your Light Online series and absolutely loving each book! Thank you for such a great series!
ReplyDeleteI have a few ideas you might want to look at.
1. This is probably pretty silly, but still - I'm not a game player. So all the 3-letter abbreviations have really been annoying, because in most cases, you don't give any reference to what they mean. I had to bookmark a game dictionary to find out meanings, and it's a drag to interrupt the flow of the reading.
continuing -
ReplyDelete2. The hammer Eddie builds. Your credibility gets a bit shaky with this one! This one is something that made me concerned - I'm a stone sculptor, and have used hammers and mallets for over 50 years, so I know just a wee bit about them.
Although your ideas of what Eddie does to create his mallet are clever, they will not work if actually used. Maybe if you had had Eddie use his combo skill to fuse the hammer head with the handle by magic, it might have been OK, but - you didn't.
The problem: If you built a mallet or a hammer using a head attached the way he did, using the vine and the sap, it would fail within a very short time, even with wedges.
The resonance from the repeat striking of the hammer would break the bond of the glue, or sap, and the vines would dry out and fall out. The hammer head can go flying off - and believe me, if you've ever seen that happen, it ain't a pretty sight if it hits someone.
A good handle is built from a piece of the wood or metal that has been formed in such a way - like a dovetail - that it won't release the hammer head, even when constantly used.
If the hold on the head of a hammer with a wood handle gets loose, the way to make it tight again is to put the hammer head down in a pail of water, so the wood swells up, and fills the hole again. Some people do try to add wedges, but that only splits the wood and makes it worse. A new handle is what cures the problem.
If it were my book, I'd rewrite that whole section. I'd have him going out into the woods to get the special wood that is hard enough to take such intense daily use - maybe a burly maple or walnut analog - without it getting destroyed by the end of a week, the way pine would be.
You might have him to go the smithy to see if they have or would make a large lathe a one-piece mallet could be turned on - there are lathes in the real world that operate by foot pedal, so a non-electric one could be made in-game.
And he might need a really sharp knife to carve the handle so it fits the hand better.
Then he'd take some strips of that bunny leather, and wrap the handle for non-slip, or score the handle with a hot knife (see pic).
But I wouldn't have him fitting a head to a handle, esp the way you had him doing it - a one-piece mallet would work better, especially for stone work -
more -
ReplyDelete3. Chisels are wrought, not cast! They'd literally blow apart before long if they were cast, because they would have no tensile strength. Look up the difference between wrought iron and cast iron. You can describe Eddy getting the smithy to make some chisels from the long bars he'd made from the ingots -
4. Planks. Please - Use 'boards.' I was stunned when I read your account of Eddy placing 'planks' in the floor of his 1st building - I was imagining a 1" x 12" plank - no no no! You want at least a 4" x 4" post! Or 6x6 - good heavens!
At the very least go back in and do a general search and replace and put 'board' in where you used 'plank' - it will read so much better. Other words that infer the nature of the board without using measurements would be trim, post, lintel, beam, timber, cladding -
You want to paint a picture with your words, right? A plank is a nothing word - there is no accompanying image for the mind to chew on because it isn't specific enough.
But if you call it a thin, narrow trim used for door jambs, or a long, wide board used for cladding walls, or a fist-thick beam to support the ceiling, or a thick, heavy post to support the roof or second floor, or a massive timber for the crossbeam of the roof - that paints it, see?
I hope that helps.
I look forward to the rest of the series!
--
aloha -
Angela